A celebration of love, joy and charm

I grew up not dreaming of having a beautiful wedding like many others would… until I watched Claudia and Jane’s wedding video. So much love, joy and charm in the short, sweet 5 minute video.

My most favourite aspects in any wedding are 1) the couple’s vows and speeches by loved ones, 2) the interaction between the couple, and 3) their interaction directly or indirectly through speeches with their loved ones.

I am from Vietnam. I do love and have some pride for my country, but living away from my home country for many years has given me much better perspective about life, habits and traditions – I began to question numerous things. From my culture, the 3 things listed above were missing in most weddings that I attended. Not that there wasn’t genuine love, but the tradition of inviting hundreds of people including ones who you don’t even know, plus a list of other things you must follow just because traditions say so. These things stress the couple and the couple’s family out, time-wise and money-wise. Eventually, all weddings I attended were almost identical. And sadly, they were all heterosexual weddings. I was not inspired and my impression was: “Wedding? Not excited and stress involved. Not looking forward to my own”.

Amongst numerous wonderful hobbies in life, I love video making production – a collage of precious moments. Claudia & Jane’s wedding has an impressive, concise and sweet video done by Reflejos Digitales. I watched many weddings over the years and I have to give them that. I did not attend the wedding of these two ladies, unfortunately, so what I saw from the video is what I got. The wedding has all three of my favourite factors 🙂 What I saw completely and blissfully changed my ideas about weddings. An additional bonus is the gorgeous wedding venue on an island in Spain.

I’ve been learning Spanish now and then, I tried to understand the vows and the speeches from this lovely wedding :’) Well eventually, I asked my partner to translate after 10 times that I watched the video. She translated to me bits by bits. I remember vividly at the end of her translation, I was silent, feeling mesmerised and saying to my her: “Wow.. that was so beautiful! Understanding what they said definitely adds an extra layer of meaning to this ceremony. Such a beautiful language…” My partner knows how I can be obsessive to topics or things that matter to my life. I constantly work on something, create or learn something in my free time. She also knows how weirdly obsessive I am to this video and the couple. She said “You’re a bit creepy, honey”, followed by my reply “I knoooow, and I don’t know why I can’t stop this exciting and curious feeling”.

My brain tends to analyse why my brain itself does certain things and not the other. I found this in my personality profile test done a while ago at work in order to improve team work. Over a few weeks, I pondered on why I am obsessed over this wedding video, and simultaneously, I was looking up the couple in my breaks from doing assessments. Once again my girlfriend said: “It’s a bit creepy, mi amor”. My personality test also shows one of my strengths is that I have a ‘Drive’, meaning I could almost achieve anything even how impossible it could sound…. And I found the couple’s social media profiles. I was amazed and scared by my own weird ability. I told my dear girlfriend how I did it. She looked at me, slightly concerned, and laughed it off. I think she understands me perfectly, her brain must have gone through the content of this paragraph.

I put my ‘creepiness’ aside, going back to my busy life and still pondering on the reason of my obsession. Then, my stubborn brain found its answers when watching few other wedding videos on Youtube (non-heterosexual weddings of course). It just clicked! One video has the pattern that I want to avoid in a wedding, and another showcases the 3 factors that I love.

I have an interest in positive psychology and neuroscience in most of my adult life. I personally believe that most of the emotion that we tend to feel deeply or being influenced by is from our childhood and young adulthood, from 4-10 years old to 18-20, varying among people. The obsession must be have been built up for a long time and it just burst when triggered. This includes my deep interest in making friends and establishing connection to who I admire and look up to. This also includes my dream of having a simple, minimalist wedding flaunting with wealth of joy and loving moments in a relaxing sort of way instead of unnecessary stress, and definitely surrounded by our loved ones.

My impression of a wedding now is: “Wedding? So thrilled, not only she and I will enjoy it, our loved ones will too. Really looking forward to my own”.

 

Meghan Trainor & John Legend song

Last week I dreamt that she passed away from an accident, I was so heartbroken. I think I screamed in the nightmare, my body just shook and I woke up in the dark. I immediately looked to my side and she’s there, still sleeping. I breathed heavily and felt a huge relief. But the pain from the nightmare was too much to handle that tears streamed down on my cheeks uncontrollably. I gently hugged her.

A part of this song ‘Like I’m gonna lose you’ sort of describe this ‘almost loosing someone you love dearly’ feeling:

“Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone
I woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we’re not promised tomorrow
So I’m gonna love you
Like I’m gonna lose you
I’m gonna hold you…”

I think I had a small fight with her few hours before it. No fight and conflict seem to be worth at all at the end of the day.

Don’t waste time on being unhappy or unsatisfied of something minor that your loved ones do sometimes, focus on love. Love them now, you never know when they might leave you forever.

If you feel something not right, talk to them about it in the most respectful way possible. The problem may be solved when the other knows what’s going on. Communication can clear things up and mend a relationship.

 

 

 

Do you know Picasso’s full name?

From the last night talk with my flatmates, I learnt that Picasso has a super duper long name. My friend actually said it out to us. I went ballistic… :))

“Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso”

-Wikipedia

Good HTML5 animation examples

Been more than a month, I haven’t come back to WordPress. Damn, the new layout. Me likey likey!

1. I’m taking this course in Uni Multimedia design. We’re learning Adobe Edge software, animation, flash, HTML5 u know. I found these 2 websites – great!
For those who studying a language (rather latin based). Games are their key and motivation! Graphics are fantastic!! https://babadum.com/
For those who love music https://www.themusicbed.com/

2. Continuing from the Music Bed website, I found out I’m really into Blues/Soul music 🙂
I’ve been always exploring my music genres, or for me, my music territory 😉
So far, I know my favs are dance music, pop. Indie or Alternative are definitely not my types. I don’t think Folk will suit me either.

Some views from Buddhism towards homosexuality

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_budd1.htm
I was a Buddhist, following my mum’s religion in very early years.
Since 3 years ago, I have called myself an Atheist, because religions and I didn’t seem to get along. I didn’t feel it in me. I didn’t study religions, but I believe that you got to have faith to be in it. Otherwise, I would like to have a break, and look into myself first.

In recent months, there are times that I feel, spiritually, not completely out of Buddhism. I felt it so strong when I attended a temple due to a post-death ceremony of a relative’s dad. When I heard them chanting, I felt peace. I didn’t understand their words but I could sit there and listen for a long time. Again, I felt peace, from within. Plus, I’m interested in meditation.

I thought I might come back to temples some day. Perhaps, my religious side (or not) will be found there.
I discovered why I prefer to be a Buddhist, because of their tolerance. I feel like they teach you to open your heart, accepting and be tolerant. No offense. This is what I personally feel.

Link

How to: Be comfortable in your own skin

How to: Be comfortable in your skin

“Do you feel uncomfortable whenever you walk into a room? Do you tend to hang back, stay quiet, and try not to put yourself out there? If you do, then don’t worry – plenty of people don’t feel comfortable in their own skins. But that can stop today.” – Wikihow

 

With very adorable sketches to illustrate the points, I love this!! Check out the link above

“How to Wake Early When All You Want to Do is Sleep”

http://www.thechangeblog.com/how-to-wake-early/
This guy is a champion!! I’m so happy to find this page, because this is my big BIG BIG problem, keep bashing the snooze button, or even turning it off 😦 lol, whoever sleeps in the same room/bed with me realise my bad habit of having early multiple alarms and ending sleeping like a pig. They are like: OMG!! Wake upppp J!!!

I always ‘dream’ to wake up early and do little self things in early morning, but not exhausting myself as I have to go to work/study later after 9am. Here’s another great list of habits, called the 24 daily habits:
http://www.thechangeblog.com/24-daily-habits/

Everyone is different. The link obviously shows suggestions derived from one’s experience and his results. We may be slightly different. No worries, don’t stress out. (Some people definitely are morning people, some may not)
Alrighty! I’ll try his methods from the first link. Let’s f**king CHANGE my life! 😀

Anxiety & Depression – Save your life!

I found myself losing interest in almost everything. I didn’t want to do any of the things I had previously wanted to do, and I didn’t know why. The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment. Everything there was to do seemed like too much work. I would come home and I would see the red light flashing on my answering machine, and instead of being thrilled to hear from my friends, I would think, “What a lot of people that is to have to call back.” Or I would decide I should have lunch, and then I would think, but I’d have to get the food out and put it on a plate and cut it up and chew it and swallow it, and it felt to me like the Stations of the Cross. 

The writer Andrew Solomon describes how he first experienced through his state of depression. I heard this speech a month ago, and got recalled recently, because I think I may be going through depression. If you think you may be depressed or feeling anxious all the time, let’s read through this blog post, it could save your life, and possibly others who you know dearly.

After the nullity – an effect of depression, Andrew Solomon illustrates how anxiety set in.

It was the feeling all the time like that feeling you have if you’re walking and you slip or trip and the ground is rushing up at you, but instead of lasting half a second, the way that does, it lasted for six months. It’s a sensation of being afraid all the time but not even knowing what it is that you’re afraid of. And it was at that point that I began to think that it was just too painful to be alive, and that the only reason not to kill oneself was so as not to hurt other people.

 

It’s such a painful and difficult journey for him, and for anyone here experiencing the similar thing. As we are humans, and humans have emotions, so even it’s the weirdest, the most embarrassing things, you have to share it, seek for help, read about it. Otherwise, you could lose this battle. Depression is subtle and unkind. People kill themselves because of depression.

I’ll share mine first. You can share yours too, if you want.
I’m now in my Final year of Uni, so I’ll be holding a Bachelor degree, ready to have a job real soon, it’s scary. I feel proud of it and at the same time, I undergo lots of stress and pressure, within the course, and within the landscape architectural industry. There are times that I feel very demotivated and procrastinated (because of their expectation and my search for perfection, so I could never have a good start). It’s a normal thing, everyone has it. However, it has extended for over 3 years. Whenever it’s assignment time, I feel guilty and anxious. Yes, this HAS been over 3 years. I also have self-doubt: “Is this what I really want to do?”, I then always told myself: I don’t have to do this job for life, and the studying bit may not be what the working bit is like. The pressure in finding a job placement also contributes its part.

Besides the stress and pressure coming from studying, I had personal problems that gave me double pressure, constantly threatened. In May-June 2013, I was cyber bullied. If you were, you know how it ridiculously felt like, especially for this generation, mobile phones are always with you, supposed to entertain you, not to deliver threatening text messages. The person used very ugly, mean words to talk to me, AND about me. As if her rejection to me wasn’t enough, she told me how I wasn’t worth to be loved. (I didn’t make a video of this blog, because if I got up to here I’d cry in the video. Well..). Due to circumstances, I had to do what she wanted.

I was a positive and happy person, who always wanna make it ‘contiguous’ in the environment where I live 🙂 Ok, I still am. But her mean words were such a destruction to me, mentally. I wasn’t strong enough to keep my positivity in me anymore. I tried to shoo her words away, I successfully forgot them, because I surrounded myself with positive loving people, who wouldn’t tell me “You’re not worth to be loved”. She tried to strip away my happiness because she thought I was taking away her happiness. It’s wrong. As last year I agreed to give back her ‘happiness’, she never seemed to be happy now, she just wanted more and more. Now I simply feel pity of her, who never settle for a simple happiness, and she doesn’t understand that bringing someone down doesn’t lift your happiness up. I paused the depression story and shared this piece of sad memory of mine because I wanna tell you (I heard the similar quote somewhere): It took me over 21 years to love myself, too see the goods in me. I don’t have that kind of time to make you feel the same. Please, fuck off.

In short, I have experienced all sorts of stress, anxiety stated above plus stress of money til Dec 2013, then in Jan 2013, I lost the love of my life. Not as in passing away, but we broke up after 2.5 yrs because she fell in love with someone else. The first week, I was devastated, numbed, I did think of committing suicide (I never thought I did, but I did). What hurt immensely was the thought of your love falling in love with someone else, because it means she fell out of love with you. Again, that thought of ‘you’re not worth to be loved’. Luckily, things happened and I gradually built back my positivity and felt happy again. I then experienced another major loss, not like once but feeling it repeatedly over and over again, like you’re going through a turbulence.
I lost my self-esteem, my confidence – physically and mentally. I began my self-doubt period.

I’m hardly scared of the dark. I always think: Well, because you have the absence of the light, that’s all. (What a nerdy thought of mine! hahaa)
But when you are depressed and lonely, you may trap yourself in the dark, thinking of all the negativity thoughts, like a swirl of emotions and thoughts surrounds you. I realised it, but I couldn’t get myself out, I even liked to be in it. I trapped myself…
I
was
depressed.

The causes of depression could be life events, personal factors and change in the brain. Read more here http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/what-causes-depression.
The first step is you can start figure out your causes , by going back to what happened honestly with yourself like I did (I didn’t go into the personal details as it’s unnecessary, but I advice you to be honest with yourself, eg “Yes, I feel worried and unhappy a lot at the time”).

Step 2 is going through this list of signs and symptoms: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms.
Just now I looked at it, I can tell that I have at least 1 in all 4 categories – I seriously need help.

**You may not tell people who are depressed by their look, because they can look absolutely gorgeous, nice hair, well dressed, and they may talk to you in a very normal tone. So, don’t go out the street and be mean with people, you can hurt a depressed person deeply.

For help
– On anxiety: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O53tADdnEs – This wonderful young lady shared and gave advices on this very well. Please spend 14 minutes of your time listening to her to feel better. She’s inspirational and you may know her because of other reasons besides anxiety 🙂
– On recovery tips: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/recovery-and-staying-well Practical!
– On the progress: please eat well, you must keep your body together, til you can win this battle of depression.
– The last but seems to be the most important: Talk to someone. >> I never went to a therapist or a psychologist since May 2013, because I pretty much figured out what they would ask me. Plus, I don’t have money, therefore, the cheaper and more effective ways  are: (not merely talking, but interacting)
– Catching up with friends/old friends (talk to them face to face, not on social networks, it’d only make you feel worse, like I did)
– Attend parties
– Go to a beach, take a walk, be with nature (This is effective because of the proven theory on Biophilia – humans love to be with nature, it’s self-healing, good for your soul)
– Be out of your house at least once a day, perhaps getting your milk bottle, breath some fresh air, take a sunset picture.
– Surround yourself with outdoor activities, window shopping may be one of them, the other could be going downtown.
– Go to swim 🙂 (but if you hate swimming, don’t do it. If you’re an okay swimmer, try swimming at the sea pool. That way, you will swim and be with nature at the same time).

My Odd Thing: There are times that I don’t find someone available, who I think would understand me and my situation. I was stressed and anxious, it got up to the point where my iPhone’s reminder (the clock) tells me things in a certain set of time. Messages like: “Don’t give up, you’re not alone” “Push PUSH, almost there” “Let’s finish up this shit!” etc.
Yup. I set the time + messages as I could estimate what I would do, as if someone is there to tell me things at the right time 🙂 LOL Sometimes it’s not at the right time though, when I was eating my delicious dinner, my phone vibrated and a message pop up: “Let’s finish up this shit!” -.-”