I grew up not dreaming of having a beautiful wedding like many others would… until I watched Claudia and Jane’s wedding video. So much love, joy and charm in the short, sweet 5 minute video.
My most favourite aspects in any wedding are 1) the couple’s vows and speeches by loved ones, 2) the interaction between the couple, and 3) their interaction directly or indirectly through speeches with their loved ones.
I am from Vietnam. I do love and have some pride for my country, but living away from my home country for many years has given me much better perspective about life, habits and traditions – I began to question numerous things. From my culture, the 3 things listed above were missing in most weddings that I attended. Not that there wasn’t genuine love, but the tradition of inviting hundreds of people including ones who you don’t even know, plus a list of other things you must follow just because traditions say so. These things stress the couple and the couple’s family out, time-wise and money-wise. Eventually, all weddings I attended were almost identical. And sadly, they were all heterosexual weddings. I was not inspired and my impression was: “Wedding? Not excited and stress involved. Not looking forward to my own”.
Amongst numerous wonderful hobbies in life, I love video making production – a collage of precious moments. Claudia & Jane’s wedding has an impressive, concise and sweet video done by Reflejos Digitales. I watched many weddings over the years and I have to give them that. I did not attend the wedding of these two ladies, unfortunately, so what I saw from the video is what I got. The wedding has all three of my favourite factors 🙂 What I saw completely and blissfully changed my ideas about weddings. An additional bonus is the gorgeous wedding venue on an island in Spain.
I’ve been learning Spanish now and then, I tried to understand the vows and the speeches from this lovely wedding :’) Well eventually, I asked my partner to translate after 10 times that I watched the video. She translated to me bits by bits. I remember vividly at the end of her translation, I was silent, feeling mesmerised and saying to my her: “Wow.. that was so beautiful! Understanding what they said definitely adds an extra layer of meaning to this ceremony. Such a beautiful language…” My partner knows how I can be obsessive to topics or things that matter to my life. I constantly work on something, create or learn something in my free time. She also knows how weirdly obsessive I am to this video and the couple. She said “You’re a bit creepy, honey”, followed by my reply “I knoooow, and I don’t know why I can’t stop this exciting and curious feeling”.
My brain tends to analyse why my brain itself does certain things and not the other. I found this in my personality profile test done a while ago at work in order to improve team work. Over a few weeks, I pondered on why I am obsessed over this wedding video, and simultaneously, I was looking up the couple in my breaks from doing assessments. Once again my girlfriend said: “It’s a bit creepy, mi amor”. My personality test also shows one of my strengths is that I have a ‘Drive’, meaning I could almost achieve anything even how impossible it could sound…. And I found the couple’s social media profiles. I was amazed and scared by my own weird ability. I told my dear girlfriend how I did it. She looked at me, slightly concerned, and laughed it off. I think she understands me perfectly, her brain must have gone through the content of this paragraph.
I put my ‘creepiness’ aside, going back to my busy life and still pondering on the reason of my obsession. Then, my stubborn brain found its answers when watching few other wedding videos on Youtube (non-heterosexual weddings of course). It just clicked! One video has the pattern that I want to avoid in a wedding, and another showcases the 3 factors that I love.
I have an interest in positive psychology and neuroscience in most of my adult life. I personally believe that most of the emotion that we tend to feel deeply or being influenced by is from our childhood and young adulthood, from 4-10 years old to 18-20, varying among people. The obsession must be have been built up for a long time and it just burst when triggered. This includes my deep interest in making friends and establishing connection to who I admire and look up to. This also includes my dream of having a simple, minimalist wedding flaunting with wealth of joy and loving moments in a relaxing sort of way instead of unnecessary stress, and definitely surrounded by our loved ones.
My impression of a wedding now is: “Wedding? So thrilled, not only she and I will enjoy it, our loved ones will too. Really looking forward to my own”.